Maria McCann
Nude

Maria McCann debuted in the 1990 straight-to-video Zapped Again as one of a bevy of high schoolers trying to find their way in a crazy world of zits, relationships, and telekinesis. We’re no superheroes, but we have something we can make move with our minds by thinking about Maria. See, that forgettable early 90’s comedy featured the only real look we have ever gotten at Maria’s luscious body, although it is only a peek at the crack of her ass through torn jeans. They’re not split pants, now they’re easy access fun-garees. We fapped again after Zapped Again when Maria returned to the screen eight years later, busting out of a bikini as the hot tub loving Tina in God, Sex & Apple Pie (1998). From this inauspicious start, Maria somehow moved on to become a legitimate actress who rattled off roles in acclaimed stuff like The West Wing, Las Vegas, Rules of Engagement, Criminal Minds and Shameless. A real shame is that Maria has spent the latter part of her career teasing us by starring in movies with titles like Chastity Bites (2013) and Babysitter’s Black Book (2015) but never taking her clothes off on screen. Worse, she never even gets sexy on shows like Lucifer, and the web series about a housewife who falls headfirst into the world of decidedly dirty compulsions, Fetish. Most recently she starred in A Deadly Lullaby (2020) a thriller about a mysterious woman trying to take over a mother’s world. But again, no nudity. Not to sound like a pervy Ronald McDonald, but while the buttcrack shot was great, we McCan-not let Maria go her whole career without showing her McCanns!